There was a point in my life when shame overshadowed my experiences, clinging to preconceived stigmas that I believed would define me forever. I envisioned pointed fingers and mocking faces, embodying the very existence I swore as a child I'd never become – an unmarried single mother, a woman scorned.
Tears became my daily companion, a torrent I couldn't contain. I resented myself for trusting the man I poured my soul into, who failed to honour the commitment we supposedly shared. Amid betrayal and harsh rejections, I found myself no longer wanted by the man I once idolized.
A pivotal shift occurred when I realized my futile attempts to salvage a relationship that he no longer desired were beneath my worth. Tear by tear, page by page, note by note, I redirected my focus from him to me – my values, my core self, and my two children.
This transformation wasn't instantaneous; it's an ongoing process. I became aware of codependency, narcissism, and the realization that I am solely responsible for being true to myself. I slowly found my voice after years of silence, overcoming the flawed notion that speaking out would invite pity or further shame.
Observing myself wither under the strain of preserving a relationship led me to a revelation. I had been giving from an empty cup while resenting myself. The stress and turmoil of trying to keep a failing relationship intact left me skin and bones, only to return home to face my mother and sister, the very one who had also betrayed me by being with my partner.
Yes, I've been reduced to nothing, and that's the beautiful part. Despite enduring daily insults from my sister, I'm growing stronger through this experience.
In another post, I'll delve deeper into my journey. This snippet merely scratches the surface, aiming to convey the struggle of low self-esteem, entering a relationship, and losing whatever self-worth and confidence I had.
On my Instagram and YouTube channel, I share lessons learned to help those living through real-life drama. My dream is to inspire others to embrace themselves, knowing they can do and be better once they know better.
Currently, I'm crafting a self-confidence workbook journal, designed to help women redefine themselves from the perception of weakness to that of powerful queens. Filled with prompts, mindfulness practices, self-realization activities, and more, this beginner-friendly yet intermediate journal aims to untangle the mental mess and boost self-esteem for those who need it.
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